Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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