He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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