How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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