i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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