I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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