Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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