You really coming over, don't trick.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
