he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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