Non-Jews are for practice
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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