Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
accomplished twins. life is a go
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
