Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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