I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
