Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
