Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
