I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
