It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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