It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need moral support for this bender
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
