I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
