If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
