You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
