I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
