Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
