You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
