how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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