I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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