I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
