Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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