Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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