you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
