I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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