...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am available for nakedness
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
