sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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