don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
