Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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