Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
