If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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