Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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