she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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