Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
