I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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