I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
