No stitches, just platelets and will power
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
