Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
