Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
