Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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