'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
