Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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