Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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