try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
