I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish there were birth control emojis
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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