i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
