Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
